My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
