fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
