It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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