If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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