distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
