So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
