In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
