This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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