Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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