i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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