Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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