Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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