So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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