quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
