If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
