Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
