Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
