I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
