He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
