spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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