whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
