it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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