he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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