oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
