so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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