Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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