I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
