omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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