Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
