Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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