went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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