So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
