Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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