I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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