Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
