i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
