lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
