whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
