Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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