but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
