Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
