Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
