Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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