This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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