I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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