Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
