I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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