Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
