Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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