But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
