You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
