Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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