Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
