she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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